Saturday, June 2, 2012

The unalterable milieu

I won't change just for you! How can YOU expect me to do THAT? Why do my actions, good or bad, have anything to do with YOU?

-You may be an influence, but you're certainly not the God of action.

It never ceases to amaze me just how impressionable some people can be. I understand that there are certain people with various problems and issues that might make them impressionable, or rather, for the want of a better word, vulnerable to people who deliberately place themselves in positions of superiority.

It's important to identify an array of characteristics in your personality, so that being able to define yourself is an effortless thing. Identifying these characteristics also means that you have discovered your passions. Discovering your passions then means that you are able to point out, precisely, where it is you want to be in life, and which steps you need to take in order to get there.

I've found that so many people I have met, from so many different walks of life, are all driven toward something. Although, it is clear that every person has their own idea of success, it's also known that many people have steered themselves, inevitably towards the ideas of success, as defined by those around them.
I should never feel obliged to see success as having a job in an architecture firm, simply because that is my father's vision of success. Success means something completely different to me, and it means, or at least should mean, something different to you.

Ageing comes with wisdom, and surely you reach a point in your life where you are knowledgeable of your intended career paths, and if you are caught in a position where this is being planned for you, you should endeavour to be more persistent about what YOU want, and what that is going to mean to you.
You're parents aren't going to be working as/for you, and neither will they be receiving the satisfaction/dissatisfaction so often received by careers.

Moreover, I find it hard to process the idea of sacrificing your own happiness to please other people. Of course you're not selfish, and you cant want all the happiness in the world for yourself, but making other people happy should never cause your unhappiness. You have a voice, and a mind of your own, so don't allow your life, and destiny to be dictated. I admit though that it is not as easy for some people to be as assertive, especially where there parents are concerned, and I guess I can share no advice in this regard; except that I wish, with all my heart, that parents and people in general, would learn to let people lives as they please.

Sometimes I wonder if people ever bother, especially those who are guilty of imposing on others, to reflect and ask themselves how they'd feel or react to their lives being chosen for them. There is only so much a parent can expect from a child, and there's only so much a child can give. There does come a time when 'parenting' ceases (not saying that your parents stop being your parents) because the child has reached a mature age, and is able to make decisions for themselves, and distinguish between right and wrong. Parenting a child for too long, and being attached to your children is almost like obsession and it can have devastating effects both child and parent. A case of this is when a mother's nose is deeply buried in the business of her son's much unpleasantness.

So before you think of being someone, only to please someone else; think of the all parts of yourself you're blatantly denying. Be true to yourself, and strange as it may sound, converse with yourself and question everything, because having the answers means that you've got the key. The key represents the 'key' to open all your doors. Having someone else lock open those doors for you will lead you into unfamiliar territory, where you could get lost and never return. Make your choices wisely, and select them around the things you're best at handling. Don't settle for less, compromise or strip yourself off any value. Add value to yourself by doing things for yourself, and by learning to respect the choices other people make. Your path to self-discovery is a useless journey, if along the road, your looking down upon those on their journeys.

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