Thursday, April 25, 2013

You're too big to fit in here (though)

Omg just after writing the precedent blog post, I started thinking about the iconic, Penis Song, from the raunchy, romantic comedy, staring Christina Applegate, Selma Blair, and Cameron Diaz, whose debauchery and episodes of eroticized humour make for impish and near-tragic results.
I remember, my cousin Azizza and I would hit repeat on this scene, mostly because we loved the pint-sized Chinese woman saying, "it's oozy and it's green," though mostly however, because we were just simply bemused by the tongue-in-cheek song, that really only Cameron Diaz would be a participant of. Because really, after Something about Mary, there was no divine light in which to see her, but within some uterus-shaped blockbuster, coagulating, and writhing in comedic stupor.

I think I'm going to attach the lyrics, for some sing-along...all of you, go grab a mic (mind the pun) let us sing:
You're too big to fit in here
too big to fit in here
too big to fit in here

What a lovely ride
Your penis is a thrill
Your penis is a Cadillac
A giant Coupe de Ville
Your penis packs a wallop
Your penis brings a load
And when it makes a delivery
It needs its own zip code
Nine - double zero - penis

Repeat Chorus

Your penis is so strong
Your penis is so smooth
Your penis has got a rhythm
Your penis makes me groove
Your penis is a dream
The biggest one I've seen
It's oozy and it's green
(spoken) Ewww
(spoken) Sorry

Repeat Chorus
Repeat Chorus

Your penis is so big
Your penis is so thick
Your penis is so pretty
You've got a handsome dick

Your penis is so hard
Your penis is so large
My body is a movie
And your penis is the star
"Staring your penis"

Repeat Chorus
Repeat Chorus

Taboo in A Virginal World

After an arduous struggle, and what seemed a lifetime of never-ending appeals, TopTv has finally been given the go-ahead, to screen "Adult Entertainment" across the television platform, that is one of Dstv's biggest contenders nationally. A while ago, the appeal was rejected after the country went into a state of panic; parents fearing that the inception of adult entertainment, across such a massive platform would have negative effects on the social well-being of their 'presumed' innocent children, who irrespective, have access to even broader and far more comprehensive platforms on which to access pornography, and ardent moralists and conservative people alike, who feared the advent of pornography may hinder the morale, sensibility and sanity, of a nation already vying for enlightenment and release from an epidemic of crime and other injustices. These late night taboos, it was believed, would further perpetuate trends of violence and crime for South Africa, as pornography and violence have long been seen as relative factors, in the shaping of society. Especially, it seems, as many women-rights organizations and gender-based activists espouse, sex-related crimes are born out of psychological addictions to pornography or, 'the defiling of the opposite sex'- by which it is held, that men who have an affinity to pornography, also have an affinity to the sheer disregard of the female body. This can be judged subjectively, and though the idea doesn't need to be justified to be harbored and maintained as a value system of sorts, it's still tremendously ludicrous to be lulled into so believing.

The Adult Entertainment industry, like the Financial Industry and the Entertainment Industry, is in all respects just as much as an industry like its counterparts, and though it may not be suitable for all members of society, or loved nearly half as much, that doesn't make it any less of an industry. It's a quintessential business, or a marketing strategy, that as other fields do, acts on the specific and relative desires, impulses, and the needs of the consumer, who in this respect is a different kind of consumer. At least according to those who wish to make that dichotomy between consumers. It's nonsensical to plonk any given negative connotation abreast with the porn industry, and even so, to harbor contempt for those who take pride in it, support it, and don't seem to have an issue with it.

On the fears parents sustain where porn is concerned, there are far more troubling premises and interventions with which they may contend than the pornographic one, in the vie to be moralistic parents and fundamentalists of purity and abstinence. The widespread nature of pornography has infiltrated every facet of social media, and if a child has a BlackBerry or any other technological gadget in its palm, then his parents can barely do so much as but look away and say nothing against the rise of what, just a few porn channels on the television platform? It doesn't make any sense, and is rather dubious for one to advocate against something, but then indirectly be contributing to that, or unknowingly exacerbating it. If you're a parent and you're anti-pornography being screen late at night, then be similarly anti-technology, because if children aren't going to expose themselves to it there, they are going to do so on whichever devices they have at the tip of their fingers. It's a hypocritical stance many don't even realize they're poised against, and it can be challenging, since its inevitable to keep these unruly things hidden from those we aspire to protect and harness perfectly. The point might be to dissociate oneself from any illusions of purity and divinity, in a time where even those terms themselves can be relative to some of the most grimy and lurid prospects.

Now that the green light has been signaled, it's a major time of public dissidence, but while all that takes place, I'm going to just sit here and do what I do best, instead of expose myself to something I cannot bare to be exposed to, unlike all these people with their fears and anxieties.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Weekend Kolours and Shades

I am so in love with these fabulous pics my gorgeous cousin, Fazlyn snapped of me over the weekend. I love modeling and also exhibiting, though it may not be the greatest, elements of my personal and inspired style. I love drawing inspiration from sources like; The Kardashians, Scott Dissick, Mark Westinghouse, Nicola Formichetti (Creative Dir. for Thierry Mugler), and then all those other kaleidoscopic and multifarious ideas I have welling and swelling inside of my head. 
Don't stare into the lens, if you make it another person, you're looking at it, not into it for a natural glare. 
I think that if I was amenable to more money, I'd definitely have more edge to my style, and I do feel somewhat limited now, so I try to reinvent my outfits so that they don't always look recycled, dull, and conventional. I strive to be different in my approach, and by different I don't mean I want to look like no one else, it's just that difference is often subtle and exemplified through the adding of items like scarves, chains, and hats etc, that I know other people won't opt for, even if they look like me...head to toe. I feel like fashion is another aspect of storytelling, because your attire, even if you don't live by the adage, really does tell a lot about you, and denotes some part of your personality, that other people can decipher you through, and even come to like you by. 

Collages makes me so zestful 
I feel as if looking good can make a grim day all the more merrier, and totes impact the way your day is slated to turn out. A little perfume uplifts the spirits too, and your good demeanor and natural happiness is sustained so long as you keep notice of compliments and methods of self-fulfillment.

The coat is an excuse. No, an armor. The coat is frost abuse. 

 One other thing about me, is that I don't need a licence to good; so I could dress up on a Monday as if its Saturday, and spend the whole day lounging on a couch, whilst on a Saturday, I could go about clad in track pants and sneakers all day. It really relies on which mood I am in, and which mood I am hoping to find myself in, that influences what I am going to wear, not which day it is. 

I'm convinced there must be something surreal beneath those manta rays, doll

Amnesty International ArtsFest

Here's a video clip, of my poetry recital from the 2011 Amnesty International (Wits) Annual ArtsFest. The poem is called, Medusa. It remains one of my favourite poems, and I am very proud of the places its gone to, and the people it has revealed itself to. I suppose one focal aspect of poetry, is to do what a novel does, without all the chapters and tedious descriptions that span over 300 or so pages sometimes. Medusa is a metaphorical poem, aimed at the advent of the 'Corrective Rape' phenomena that unfolded egregiously in South Africa, first when the Banyana Banyana star was brutally slain for celebrating her sexuality, then the headlining murders of several other young, predominantly black lesbians in the country. The Caster Semanya debacle had just scratched open wounds, that many gender-rights activists had long feared would cause the fabric of society to disintegrate hysterically and unsparingly. The phenomena was interlinked with an assumption, or a misconception rather, by some black men and homophobic citizens, that raping a lesbian woman would cause her to come to the egress of her "newfound heterosexuality." In the poem, Medusa (a Goddess of the ancient greek times who was sent to live in the 'Hades' away from her privilege) is an allegorical figure of modern day torture, who is subjugated and compelled to accept a life of solitude, whilst simultaneously dealing with the fact that she had been defiled through the desecration of her body- she had been raped...corrective-ly.

Saturday, April 20, 2013


Omg I found this really old video, of my cousin, Azizza and I, imitating two very old and primitive Coloured (malay) aunties at her house. We made so many of these, even devoid of documenting 'em, and I really miss these kray kray days. I think u can tell that we're both kray Taurus' who are talented and then related too! Enjoy.

I'm feeling this song Right Now

"You Don't Know My Name"

Baby, baby, baby
From the day I saw you
I really really want to catch your eye
There's something special 'bout you
I must really like you
Cause not a lotta guys are worth my time
Ooo baby, baby, baby
It's gettin kind of crazy
Cause you are takin over my mind
And it feels like oooooo
But you don't know my name
And I swear it feels like ooooo ooooo ooooo ooooo
You don't know my name
(round and round and round we go, will you ever know)

Oh baby baby baby
I see us on our first date
You're doin everything that makes me smile
And when we had our first kiss
It happened on a Thursday
Ooooo it set my soul on fire
Ooo baby baby baby
I can't wait for the first time
My imagination's runnin wild
It feels like ooooo
You don't know my name
And I swear it baby, it feels like oooo ooooo ooooo ooooo
You don't know my name
(round and round and round we go, will you ever know)

"I'm sayin, he don't even know what he's doin' to me
Got me feelin' all crazy inside
I'm feelin like"
Owww! Ooooo Oooooo
Doin more than I've ever done for anyone's attention
Take notice of what's in front of you
Cause did I mention you're 'bout to miss a good thing
And you'll never know how good it feels to have all of my affection
And you'll never get a chance to experience my lovin'
Cause my lovin' feels like ooooooo
You don't know my name
(round and round and round we go, will you ever know
And I swear it feels like oooo ooooo ooooo ooooo
You don't know my name
(round and round and round we go, will you ever know)

Will you ever know it, no no no no no
Will you ever know it?
"I'm gonna have to just go ahead and call this boy.
Hello? Can I speak to -- to Michael?
Oh hey, how you doin?
Uh, I feel kinda silly doin' this,
But um, this is the waitress from the coffee house on 39th and Lennox
You know, the one with the braids?
Yeah, well I see you on Wednesdays all the time
You come in every Wednesday on your lunch break, I think
And you always order the special, with the hot chocolate
And my manager be tripping and stuff
Talking bout we gotta use water
But I always use some milk and cream for you
Cause I think you're kinda sweet.
Anyway you always got on some fly blue suit
'n your cufflinks are shining all bright
So, whatchu do? Oh, word? Yeah, that's interesting
Look man, I mean I don't wanna waste your time but
I know girls don't usually do this,
But I was wondering if maybe we could get together
Outside the restaurant one day
Cause I do look a lot different outside my work clothes
I mean we could just go across the street to the park right here
Wait, hold up, my cell phone's breakin up, hold up
Can you hear me now? Yeah
So, what day did you say?
Oh yeah, Thursday's perfect, man:."
And it feels like oooo
You don't know my name
(round and round and round we go, will you ever know)
Baby Baby I swear it's like oooooo
You don't know my name, no no no
(round and round and round we go, will you ever know)
And it feels like oooo
You don't know my name
(round and round and round we go, will you ever know)
And I swear on my mother and father it feels like 
Oooo ooo oooo ooo ooo ooo
Oooo ooo oooo ooo ooo ooo
Oooo ooo oooo ooo ooo ooo
You don't know my name
(round and round and round we go, will you ever know?)

A Kardashian Saturday!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013


How fab is this picture @KhloeKardashian posted to her official site, featuring Kim, Kourt and the stunning little Jenner sisters too! #GorgeousAward

Friday, April 12, 2013

Poem: Melody from Beyond

all the altercations snake their way up
rising in twirls, excited as smoke
moving towards the periphery of the cup
around which your lips go perched
sealing off the last words e'er your voice hath spoke
and the soliloquy faces all but just smirked
hanging dust-made tapestry about the air
some of 'em dirt stupor gets entwined in your hair
there's no face slashing open 'cross the dawn
by every recurring incessant darkness you buck and mourn
emaciated to the Egyptian skin of your bone
morose and near some decrepit state of ash
you leave yourself alone
entombed in the derogatory situation, devoid of cash
without a currency, bereft of value
see how eyes and dreams have defiled you
none novice creations gleam in your stride
playing a million dizzying rounds of Jekyll and Hide
waiting on some revelation or some ulterior significance
heart-closed to your widespread malevolence
with your own expression mocked in the enrapturing flames
praying they'll remember you by at least
one of your many names
erstwhile they become oblivious to your disposition
thinking in alternate patterns of consciousness
you forget how it was you who urged the superstition
by which you are disbelieved and tossed about the malice

- Raeez Jacobs

Poem: Exalted

You're such a misery
calling out like a Church
wanting to be first in line
initiating the first act of perjury
so bound to psychology-
bent like a thesis and pulled like a theory

You're such a misery
wailing on like an emergency
alerting all to your turns and trips
rolling your eyes in your made-up head

you're such a misery
miserable abreast my shadow
miserable beneath the crystal glow
wishing you could really know
which way my similes go
you paper-torn piece of philosophy
un-jaded, reprimanded, kinda lost and crazy
laying there, miserably
pretending to be dead
along the sheen of my bed

though so soft and lively
inside my head

-Raeez Jacobs

The Optimistic Circumference

I guess this is an optimistic blog post, and why the fuck not, huh? I'm so dejected by how feeble-bodied, unstable, and too-quick-to-retrieve I have been recently; and I maintain the same for many a "presumed" agile-bodied persons around me. 
This blog in effect, is a tri-catharsis. Simplistically, it's a trifecta; a trio of inspirational pieces- symbolically positioned in three's, with homage to the Old Wives Tales that deemed three a digit of luck, so to say, vis.a.viz stories such as 3 blind Mice, the 3 musketeers, Thrice as lucky, independently etc, etc. 
The pictures aren't indicative of anything closely resembling facets of an ego or a sentiment, rather they summarize or juxtapose those emotions, resembling what they reflect (instead of defining what they are)

Picture 1: The adage in itself is what compelled to 'randomly' select this picture, having saved it not so long ago. "We develop from the negatives," what a deductively significant premise by which to understand our condition; our innate humanity, in our own undoing, our mortality, and mere nothingness in the face of whatever presides over us. There must be something infinite, beyond our trajectory and our understanding, that doesn't seek to sustain us, but merely presides over us as median of continuum and momentum, or better, the ongoing of things- keeper of the timeline. The one who understands what we'll forever be unsure of, doubt, wonder about, and struggle to remember. In retrospect, this adage is discipline; a sheer lesson through which we could be humbled, through a subtle reminder of our mere humanness, and the necessary imperfection that precedes that. It screams, don't be so fixated, let loose, but don't forget where you're coming from. What happened in the past is always going to matter, but that doesn't mean we should live trying to ameliorate that...we must develop. 

Picture 2: This picture, featuring the Kardashian sister, Kourtney clad in a whimsical, chic, and modernistic set of apparel going about her daily activities, out and about on the fame-sizzling shores of Los Angeles, California, is a direct or a robust allusion to the desires, similarities, differences, distinctions, and social patterns by which I exist, and through which I seek a sense of equality, inspiration, and in most respects, from which I derive sheer entertainment. I can't even answer the question: why do you like the Kardashians  so much? anymore, because I've reverted to an extreme sense of antipathy where concern in my likes and dislikes are concerned; it doesn't matter so significantly to me, that I should need to validate it. I know what I like, and I wouldn't like it, if I wasn't so inclined. Explain? no.
Not long ago it was their relentless willingness to succeed, perfect, create, astonish, amuse, entertain, and unanimously inspire, that drew me towards them, like a fly to a UV light. It was inevitable. Perhaps I had long shared similar ambitions, and reveled being able to watch them egress, through the unyielding, fabulous, and tireless efforts of the Kardashian sisters, whose contrasting personalities were a blithe reflection of the enhanced and developing personas every single person, or select persons might harbor within them. A gentle reminder of the abnormality in your life, and then the reality of their very "nothingness", in what has evolved into an age of mass media and pop culture transformation, responsible for churning out artists such Britney Spears, Michael Jackson, Madonna, Beyonce, and the album-gurgling, Rihanna whose Barbados-inspired beats have long indoctrinated even the most seasoned of music listeners. 
All that and I still had to justify my liking...No way. Let it be. I dig all of them, and in terms of its significance or poignancy on this list, it's a relation between my "utilities or modes" of catharsis- my runway, or strip, whatever you'd wish to coin it, from the murky air of what vexes me; it's a platform whereon I may escape, retreat into, and exile myself in solitary freedom. A dose of "fabulosity".

Picture 3: without fleeing off on a tangent, this picture was selected because it's one of my most recent, with one of my Wits buddies, Italian-cliche, GlamTrio doll, and Musician, Samantha Jacobs whose formal surname is actually Cerasoli. I met SammiSmoochie in the year I repeated my Italian (After the attempt Azizza, Claire, and I made the previous year), and I didn't envision our friendship transpiring into what it has become now. We're really close and very alike, in that we're both passionate about the Arts and Entertainment industry. Sam is like, among the other few friends I have, whose judgement and opinion I will actually take to heart and earnest consideration- pertinently in the creative sphere. Sam inspires me through and through, and really we push and uplift each other so much, both trying slavishly to reach the apex of our wildest dreams. I am confident that she'll rise to her zenith, and that no matter what, our friendship will remain unhindered by whichever effects may unravel as we tarry on. We share some rather rampant, wild, and out of this world memories, and experiences, extending from the Drakensburg all the way to shindigs here in the groovy Highveld. And this photo is a visual reminder of all that was just said, so it's partially empowering, partially influential, and in some way, motivating to look at this and remember what needs be remembered, and to cling to whichever rope it is I am clinging onto. 

...A Little Thing called a TimeLine...


Matriculates from Nur-ul-Islam School


Starts BA degree at Wits, initially subjects were: International Relations, Philosophy, Italian, and Film, Visual and Performing Arts in the 1st semester. In the second, I dropped Italian for Linguistics, and FVPA for Psychology.


BA continues with Philosophy, 1st semester IR, and Italian is picked up again with new friend Nadia (repeating literally), and Psychology is replaced by English Literature one.


Becomes official “second year” only, having amended majors from Philosophy and IR, to English and Italian. Anthropology is picked up to complete the points for eligibility at level II.


Final year (3rd year) though literal fourth, majors from level II are carried over to year 3, and doing only one module of Anthropology I, in the first semester.

At midyear, halts studying following June examinations.
Fills official “cancellation of registration” until further notice form at Humanities Faculty;
Sign-out process ensues and graduation is held akimbo, until completion of sem II units in English and Italian.

August 2012

Enrols at Brumilda Acting Academy & Agency, to begin some form of performing and acting training-
Course runs on Saturdays, and usually extends to the later part of day before concluding.

Develops show reel and has exam photo shoot with Renico Van Rensburg

Completes course with an A

Agency representation ensues

December 2012

Auditions for NYFA (New York Film Academy) doing two modern monologues: 1. Torch Song Trilogy monologue by David Beckoff, and 2. “Charlie” Manson, in the film adaptation of the 1960s cult-driven noir about the brutal slayings, dictated by the Acid-doused, prophetic, and deceptive Charles Manson, who led Susan Atkins and Tex Watson amongst others to murder the inhabitants of Cielo Drive. One of the slain turned out to be emerging Hollywood actress, Sharon Tate.


Despondent by impartial scholarship and need based grant

Begins “serial fund-hunting”

Reluctant having been sent little to no casting briefs.

Awaiting approval from National Arts Council and National Film & Video Foundation

April 2013

Considers alternatives

Plans around polythetic categories

Accepting possibilities and embracing multifarious prospects

Resumes and persists with fund-hunting nonetheless

Also plans to resubmit form to Wits to complete BA Final Year as possibility

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Sunday Inspirazione: Festival of Style

#LooKbooK: Points of Ivy

so ivy. so not deadly.

I love this photo from the other day. It contrasts so well with the greenery all around- including the mental-cum-metaphorical green, y'know. I'm not big on green though, but I thought the merging of colours and the shifting of themes between clothing and ambiance was so stark, that I just had to take the photo. I threw a varied-color, striped scarf in, to break some of the dark, because I'm donning a black T, black skinny jeans, and black footwear. The shirt is on-green-on-olive-somewhat-military, which I really love. Shaquille was the photog and thank God, because not everyone takes really good pictures. It's NOT just about taking the photo, it's about being able to capture what should be displayed, and I appreciate an attentive, assertive, and eager photographer, whose skills allows what's being captured, to be displayed immaculately, whilst simultaneously highlighting the contours of his own craft.

When you tell these inanimate things my name. Imagine.

In this case, it's modeling and not the pool, though as you can see, the angle from which he took it balances it out perfectly, so that I don't seem as if I happened to the pool nor the scene or something. There's equilibrium, and no dissidence in shading, setting, nor position. If he stood any more right or left, it would be a picture of the pool with me plonked in it, and that's the attentive qualities a lot of people lack when they take photos. Sometimes you can really see the difference between when I am behind the cam, and then when I am in the front, because I put a lot into making sure I capture my friends, or whatever I'm capturing really well.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Be Nice


Pledge your support through the creative and artistic milieu, by attending the Reggae Against Rape and Abuse concert, taking place May 4 at Shikisa, Newtown from 12 midday to 12 Midnight. Tickets are reasonably priced and kids get it on free, so supporting this initiative isn't going to cost too much. Bring all your scene-kid friends, hippies, and other normal people too, so that art can change the way we seek to make change in the world. It's not a conference, it's a concert. Make a date.

For more information and to RSVP, just click here