Saturday, June 16, 2012

Extract from Play

Extract from play: Title cannot be known at this point.

Scene III

Zeeha is seated before a mirror, applying make up to his face while reading an article in a newspaper. 

Zeeha: The funniest thing about me, is the thing I don't like laughing at, or having other people laugh at for that matter. [Puts on eye-shadow]You know, [drags on cigarette, and blows out smoke loudly] it's very strange how just the other day I thought: Zeeha jou lekker ding, trek die pantyhose aan en maak laat hul koppe soos tornado's draai, but agh... [Applies lipstick] I guess I should stop complaining; I sound like an auntie with one breast, three children, a lazy-cheating of a husband, and a house in the kak part of Ennerdale, or some other surviving coloured state, and I say state because community is an understatement to the ways of the coloured folk; community is for the gypsies, or little groups of rats that live underneath that surviving, coloured state. It's not easy to talk this way about these people, because no matter what I say, or do, they are always going to be better, even though Uncle Sammy will most likely be sitting on that same three-legged chair, in his bargained Ackerman's trousers, when I come here in a few years...[Stops to think, and drags on cigarette] maak dit somer net sestien jaare, and you'll see, I swear on my fake boobs, gay spirit, and the blood of Barbara Streissand that even Auntie Wakie will not only look the same, but will still be wearing her blue checked overall. And then I am the worst of them, really? Nee tog, ek is glad nie so erg nie, it's just the way they were socialized, and don't tell them that because they'll say something like: "Hey don't talk nonsense man, I wasn't socialized; leave that laarnie words of you alone- I was born. And that is when I roll my eyes, and laugh at them, in my head, while still they laugh at me...out loud.

© Raeez Jacobs. 2012. All Rights Reserved.

Poem: Desquamate Diadem

Desquamate Diadem

Rain, and then the wrenched
sight of winter dressing
before the mirrors in the castle of autumn,

Rain, and then the accompanying
darkness; it's sole friend

gnawing at my door
where the porch light flickers
so sinister as when
the devil blinks

causing my heart to cease
for moments longer than time,
held captive there, pressed down
by the clouds of my own coffee,

in a state of hysteria
with my eyes, unseen
yet most frighteningly widened
against the influx of horrors,
snaking across the floors,

as I sit, child-like
lending my sight
to every aspect of the room

even where there is nothing to see,

while hearing the
sound of

rain, and then your heavy breathing
beside the acquired heart
from down the road,
so filled to the brim with delight
and killing the smell of every
rose known to each garden walked,
and unknown,
with the stench of cursed upon sex.

Rain, and then seeing
the Casanova
robe himself in the silence
of night, traipsing
as a mere shadow
for the rendezvous
most cursed by my fears.

- By Raeez Jacobs

© Raeez Jacobs. 2012. All Rights Reserved.

Poem: The Slaying of The Butterfly

The Slaying of The Butterfly 

The fair sex- girl mouthed,
and mermaid formed
with the apple of Adam
and the hairs of some Beatrice
ranting about as paid locks
die by the floor of the heaving shoulder,
and the beads of overflowing sweat
as tides of angst by the ocean's despair
slam waves against the chest
where the soul breathes
causing the premature stare
into the darkness from which
even the bluest eye
cannot be averted.

- By Raeez Jacobs

© Raeez Jacobs. 2012. All Rights Reserved.

Poem: Mozart's Deplorable Masterpiece

Mozart's Deplorable Masterpiece

The song is still the same-
yesterday, splashed
with mental angst,
the piano danced as do
flames beneath a light patter
while the lyrics died
as plants do,
usually only
when no hands caress
their locks,
and stalks
or when they are
bequeathed to
gardens in the pit
of Hades,
the melody dwindled,
to the abyss
inside which those
of the unknown state
dance restlessly, clueless
and ever so bereft of
the road most taken.

- By Raeez Jacobs ™

© Raeez Jacobs. 2012. All Rights Reserved.

Take your gender, and go!

I just came across this really cool picture, on this feminism site and man do I dig it!
I definitely agree with the fact that, as a modern world, we have not really allowed ourselves to adequately adapt to various social, technological and other changes. This is evident within most cultures around the world, predominant religious groups, and society as a whole. There's no space in which someone could really, affirmatively celebrate their pride, and live the hedonistic lives they so desire. But that's beside the point; the point here is this; despite every move towards liberation, and the break-away from oppression, and injustice, people, because they live in such comfortable zones (their own lives), they are entitled to their own opinions, and so a creed highlighting equality means nothing to someone who doesn't choose to live that kind of life, or someone who has chosen to remain with their beliefs, and thoughts, no matter how primitive.

Every point insinuated here is coming from a completely non-universal sense; the points are completely subjective, meaning that they're my own beliefs, and thoughts. I affirm that I have no intention of forcing my beliefs down other people's throats, and in no way do I believe that I am right, although to some extent, because my points are subjective, and formed from my own beliefs, there is a level of truth, at least to me.
The problem arises when this truth is universalized, and forced into the codes, languages, cultures, societies, and the minds of individuals who entertain different thoughts.

While I remain steadfast in my plea for gender equality, and the annihilation of homophobia completely, I also maintain that getting away with homophobia, and inequalities between genders can, and will only happen, if and only if the roles are not reserved. I have encountered many people in my life, and each of them have expressed various, and oftentimes, different opinions towards homosexuality, homophobia, and sexuality as a whole. What I am really trying to say is, I don't believe that we can fight homophobia by hating straight people, and some of the laws against it. Defeating homophobia is about changing the mindsets of those who are at a lack of understanding about the dynamics thereof, and also those who live by the myths. The other way is to ensure that we respect the boundaries before, and around us; being defiant by demonstrating homosexual acts in a place where it is banned, for example, only exacerbates the situation, and reinforces the conceptions carried by the believers of the idea that homosexuality is a sin, or disease.

It's about respect, and finding the comfort in your own world, with those whom matter to you, and within an environment you can flourish. It's not always about the bigger world out there, and the opinions of people who have never even seen your face, nor know that you exist; mostly it's about you, as I said, and I choose to celebrate diversity, pride, and equality, and then everything else you believe in as a person. Of course at times your life will be affected by the 'world out there', and for many, it's even affected by what should be a 'comfort zone.'

Sexuality must be one of the most intricate, if not the most intricate thing to dissect, explain, and critique. Due to this factor, it makes it increasingly arduous for some people to imbibe with codes of gender the way other people do. Consideration is key, and being liberal creates your own sort of 'liberal city' where everything is accepted, so it's somewhat momentous that, as liberal as you are, you never make the mistake of forming any kind of prejudice.

I believe that traits such as prejudice, denial, and hate are all cultivated at home, and are often the result of influence; whether from religion or parents. While you cannot change the situation around you, you can strive to lead a completely different life, contrary to the life you commonly know and abhor, when you are granted the free will, and the chance to do so.

I for one don't agree that women should be confined to their homes, unless they've chosen to do so, out of their own free will. I don't believe that the "fear, rejection of, and shunning of homosexuality" should be greeted with acts of violence, especially by the hands of the people, like the government whose purpose is to serve, and protect. I don't believe that religion should be the loudest voice in the room when homosexuality is brought up, because of all the accounts of homosexuality, and even homophobia that I've come across, religion offers the weakest accounts thereof, and honestly, makes illogical claims that are to be treated with certain methods of reaction, and retaliation. Not so long ago I watched a video on YouTube in which a Muslim sheikh was interviewed about the 'epidemic', - the epidemic being homosexuality. He was very rash, and obviously a fervent follower of the Shar'iah law, and this was all confirmed when he proceeded to add that death as punishment for homosexuals, and homosexual acts, is too weak. In other words he was insinuating that had there existed a more gruesome, and bloodcurdling method of extinction, and punishment, that should be used on homosexuals, and those engage in such acts.

It breaks me to hear people refer it to as 'a way of life', a deviation to make a statement, 'a lifestyle', and it especially infuriates me when people refer to it as a choice. The best indication that 'the choice theory' is invalid comes to life when you ask straight people if they recalling receiving a choice, sometime ago, as to whether or not they really wanted to be straight. If the choice theory is valid, then it implies that only homosexual individuals were given the choice, and by some power, all chose the same thing. From a personal point of view, much as I am proud of who I am, happy to be who I am, and quite intrigued by being gay, I don't think I would have chosen to be gay, had I been granted the opportunity to choose my desired sexuality, especially if I knew what it would entail.

There's no shame in being gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc, and it's important to tell yourself this, so that you are not swallowed by guilt, and denial. There was a time, shortly after I had become sexuality active with guys, when these feelings of intense guilt, denial, and hatred on myself would pass over me after having sex, and it really ate me. I tried to discard my emotions, but knew that I could no longer deny them, because they were omnipresent, and had found a way to emerge from the debris of my previous denial. I knew I had to accept, and love myself regardless of who I loved, and who I loved going to bed with. It's almost like trying to get citizenship of a country; you just have to wait until you are naturalized, and by all means, there are no shortcuts- in other words, allow yourself to become comfortable with it without applying any pressure on yourself.

If you're homosexual, and smiling at some of the things I've said, or if you are straight and support gay rights, then you will agree with me that, no matter how much resistance ebbs from oppressors, they can never change the way you feel, and neither can they change your sexuality, because it's impermeable. And also, learn to take society with one, not two hands, because you can never be too involved; too involved is when you start becoming the recipient of oppression. And no, I am not saying become a recluse, I am saying that you should be who you are, without purposely making statements that will exacerbate the very issue your statement is meant to eradicate.

Take it easy, and let your mother work if she wants to
relax and let your baby brother
play with a doll
and your sister a fire engine,
take it easy, and don't allow
any maschismo to tell you
that there's a 'way' to be a man
and that that way
is found at the end of vagina avenue,
tell him softly,
that you just love
taking the dirt road-
the short cut
up the avenue you love the most


Poem: By the Eyes of the Blind

By the Eyes of the Blind

We don't mind sharing a bedroom,
naive one and I, while
all the circus world goes by
our window. In the darkness,

we share a bed, and coil ourselves
together, not for warmth;
coiling in our habitual ritual
the twain pains amalgamated
by sweaty palms, and wooden knees

we are a lady's ripped dress in
the dim moonlight,
barely moon-splashed
for any sight,
only seen by the blind eye,
just as we are the only lie,

together, so coiled
waiting to hear any sound
while the floor vacillates 
and our eyes spill
curses, reluctantly,

till the circus world goes by.

- By Raeez Jacobs

© Raeez Jacobs. 2012. All Rights Reserved.

14th "ENCOUNTERS" South African International Documentary Festival

The Encounters, South African International Documentary Festival return this year, from the 7 to 24 June, in Cape Town, and Johannesburg. About 29 international, and 22 locally produced, South African films will be screened during the festival, at different venues across the two major cities; venues such as, The Fugard Theatre in Cape Town, and The Bioscope in Johannesburg- sharing a complex with the modern-cum-art, Art Decadence Hotel at the heart of Johannesburg's arts & culture arena.

There's a great selection of films to be screened, and even just by the titles, you are sure to be enthralled, and have something to speak about for a long time. The festival draws the attention of ardent movie-goers, passionate filmmakers, writers, and actors alike, while also remaining open enough to attract general, scene-seeking people.

Some of the films I would recommend, and those I am dying to see are; the world premiere of, Cocaine, Suicide and the Meaning of Life, by Riaan Hendricks. Jumu'a : The Gathering, by Dylan Valley also looks like a really interesting film. The other three are; Anne Frank Remembered (documentary), Call Me Kuchu by Katherine Fairfax Wright & Malika Zouholi, which is a film centred around one man's campaign for Gay Rights in Uganda, who ultimately ends up getting murdered by the regime. And last, but not least, The Cut by Beryl Magoko; revolving around the issue of female genital mutilation in Uganda. These are the titles I am most looking forward to seeing, although there are so many others I wish I could see too.

Ticket prices range from R40 onward, and can be purchased through The Fugard theatre box office, Computicket, and The Bioscope.

For further information pertaining to the festival, click here


Thursday, June 14, 2012

Isidingo studio burns- Causes major damage

The Isidingo studio's, housing the production for the hit TV series has burnt, and caused massive damage to "R100 million worth of equipment and facilities. The fire mercilessly tore through the studio on Wednesday night, and an investigation into the cause of the fire is still being investigated. Luckily, shooting won't be affected, and neither will programming of the show, as episodes are recorded months in advance. Shooting will continue as normal; using an unaffected floor of the studio.

I am looking for REALITY STARS!!

Hi Dicks, and Chicks!!

I was recently entered into the IFVF (International Film, and Video Foundation) film making competition, and I am under serious pressure to submit the script. This years competition deals with the reality format, and basically I need to come up with a very quick, yet captivating reality show, in any of the current reality show formats, and this will run for min. 5 minutes and a max. of 10 minutes.
I cannot yet release the title of the show, since I am not fully aware of the rules in that regard. However, it is my choice who I cast, where I shoot, and most things in the production sense of the show.

So I am looking for two people, ONE MALE, and ONE FEMALE, who feel they have what it takes to be a reality star; even if it's just for this short production. Screenings of the show for the competition promises exceptional exposure, and indefinitely, a thrilling experience.



-must be between the ages of 18- 23. No younger and no older.
-blonder hair, though black may also be fine.
-shouldn't be too tall, and muscular. not too short either.
-must be energetic, creative, funny, and liberal.
-must be comfortable with transcending boundaries; so being comfortable enough to do anything on camera.
-must be based in Johannesburg, and be able to travel, even if only with public transport.
-must be committed, punctual, and serious.


-must be between the ages of 18-23. no younger and no older.
-black hair, or blonde hair, and must be shoulder length or just over.
-average height, and build.
-must be able to demonstrate an energetic, funny, and liberal personality.
-must be comfortable with doing anything in front of camera.
-must be based in Johannesburg, and be able to travel, even if just with public transport.
-must be committed, punctual, and serious.

If you feel you meet the above criteria, and would like me to consider you for my reality show; please email two recent photos of yourself, a brief biography of yourself, and your contact details to this address

Audition coming up


VENUE: Joburg Theatre
ADDRESS: Braamfontein
TIME: 10am to 1pm
FOR: Joining Youth Development Program
BRING: Prepare one piece you would like to perform, arrive early, and dress in comfortable, rehearsal attire
              such as gym clothing, because apparently it will be quite vigorous.

NB. I am merely passing this message on, and don't know anything further, and neither do I own the rights to anything affiliated with the Joburg Theatre, or the Youth Development program in question.

For more information please visit the Joburg Theatre complex website: here

If We May Just

The frame is empty,
love, my face hath
been thus removed
as a flea
from fluffy,
and there upon the rug

to ash
I metamorphose;

victim of memory
a dime short of remembrance,
tossed aside

as an old
science project
with my globes off,
across some field
against the reeds
that grow as my inveighs do,

Our heart, lest
beats no beat
just a feeling thereof,
like nothing really,
we are none
no longer one

look my love,
my face hath
thus been removed.

- By Raeez Jacobs

© Raeez Jacobs. 2012. All Rights Reserved.

The Index finger of the City.

I attended a party recently;
My friend's gorgeous affair
took place upon the roof'
of the Johannesburg, Art Decadence Hotel
The hotel breathes the breath of the glamorous,
and captivates, while it allures the senses,
the true essence of life atop a city.
Johannesburg is the city of art,
Johannesburg is the city most close to my yearning heart.

A view from the top; a look at the city just as the sun set.
Mild darkness. Half-day, half-night; a two-faced moment, like being in two places at the time, I, along
with these buildings, were caught in two time spaces, at the same time.

A vintage touch to a modern city. 

During the early afternoon. The air smelled of excitement, and feelings most unexplained. 
Clouds amassed to conceal, at least partially, the fancy tops of some buildings.

That tower stands out, most stall.
That tower is the index finger of the city.

© Raeez Jacobs Photography. 2012. All Rights Reserved.

POEM: You Keep The Question

I'm almost
to be the person you want me to be;
shaped as a cursive S,
with my marks on the stone walls you've carved,

I'm nearly
that person,
I'm nearly the shadow
of your religion,
the personification
of your word
when the water turns
to ice
I am the solidity,
the rigidity
so embedded
and then perfected
like a golden lock
upon a Queen's head

underneath the gilded throne,
I am nearly
that person
you want
me to be

and far less
than the
I know me
to be.

- By Raeez Jacobs

© Raeez Jacobs. 2012. All Rights Reserved.

Short Story: UNKNOWN




11:42. His chest felt heavy; a feeling he had never before felt. He was void of an adjective amid his vast vocabulary, that could accurately, and precisely describe the feeling moving across his chest, like a slab of marble, or a grand piano being slowly dragged across it. He closed his eyes against the dim light emanating from his bedside lamp, as fatigue began to shroud its tedious, yet heavy wings around his body.

He had spent the day with Farrow. The two of them visited the old, and vacant church on Clark Avenue; apparently, some revelation would have taken place, had they arrived two minutes earlier. Marlowe was disappointed that they had missed it, but more than he was crestfallen; he was passive. He had for long been despondent toward the news of the revelation, and when Farrow had brought it up, time after time, he had felt his insides fold like neatly ironed laundry by the hands of some clumsy domestic, before being scattered across some frozen landscape upon which he jolted, and attempted to hurl himself upward, but the frozen platform had by then, already swallowed half his body into its icy chasm. Farrow was optimistic about it; parading about haughtily, and professing his anticipation to anyone not deaf. He had always been passionate, perhaps too passionate, Marlowe thought, when it came to the secular realm. Perhaps he had so been birthed; birthed to serve the outer world- the world which was feared by many. Yet he aspired to embrace it, as if it were his newborn sister, or a regal cloth touched by a prince. 

Marlowe forced himself from his sweat-stained duvet and for a minute, stood silently, resembling someone whose sight had just been dumbfounded by the appearance of a ghost; his arm rested weakly against his peeling door frame, all the while his chest heaved back and forth, like a demented robot whose wires had, by some force, been tweaked. He tried to stop pondering over the revelation, and Farrows anxiousness. He tried to think only of what he could write next; writing was an escape- a tunnel, as he had so often described it, to anyone who had asked him why he did it. He always thought that they were a little inquisitive or idiotic rather, especially when they asked him to write something for them.

"Is it going to be like this every night now, Marlowe?" It was Shilo, and his near-husky, machine-like voice. He was standing, arms folded, at the end of the long and unlit passage; he was merely a shadow, yet so sturdy, and poised with the same verbosity that had, eons back, drawn Marlowe in. 
"Because if it is," he continued; his voice sterner, and seemingly colder this time. Marlowe knew, intuitively that he meant business, and any chance to transform this moment into a more pleasant one, was annihilated by that very embodiment of authority that stood, arms folded at the end of the passage. "I am going to leave Marlowe. I can't carry on like this; everyday we're fighting. If we're not battling addictions, we're battling things that happen only in your mind. I can't carry on like this! Look at you emaciating before me; one would swear I carry the badge of a nurse."

Marlowe was speechless; Shilo was right, and he had every right to be furious- more the right to be tired. There was too much truth in every word that fell from Shilo's mouth, confidently, like dice from the hand of an experienced gambler, who had memorized the game, and found out how to win. It wasn't memory that could save him here, and neither was it truth; actually, Marlowe thought, the truth could only lead him astray.
"I'm sorry," He murmured. It was guilt consuming every possible explanation, or reason he could put forth to convince Shilo. But after guilt, there was only truth, and then pain, no reason. You can't be forgiven when your truth, no matter how justifiable, causes the heart of another to lose its truth.

"You're sorry?" Shilo laughingly asked. "What are you sorry about?" 
"For everything I put you through, Shilo." He surprised himself with this influx of words.
"Forgive yourself Marlowe," Shilo said sternly before moving closer towards him. He metamorphosed, gradually, from a mere shadow, to the more distinct outline of a boy, with his blonde curls glistening in the dim light that splattered from within Marlowe's room. His sky blue eyes were big and bright as an owls but with the beauty of an angel's. His piety, and sheer beauty were some of the things Marlowe had yet to make sense of.
"I made too many mistakes!" Marlowe began to shout; trembling slightly, his hand falling clumsily from the door frame, slapping his sides so that a loud squeak of a sound echoed across the passage. "I hurt so many people, don't you think I know that Shilo? Don't you think it bothers me, every single night of my godforsaken existence? Or am I wrong here? Does agreeing with me make you less glorified, and perfect than you already are?"
He knew he was speaking illogically, and that he was being nonsensical. Shilo had always agreed with him; in fact, he was more of the demigod, while Shilo was the mortal with all the beauty, who had been drawn to him. It was a lie. They had been drawn to each other. Could he reverse the effects of the statements he had just proposed? In the few minutes ticking between his cries, and Shilo's response, he could feel his heart start to dissolve; black molasses heart he whispered to himself. But it was heavy molasses; thick, like sinking sand with the power of the ocean- against the tides of demented waves, there are no fists clenched tight enough to withstand such ferocity. He felt small, smaller than a mouse, and yet the shame he felt was much bigger in magnitude, than the palatial contours of a palace, or perhaps larger than anything largest upon the mortal earth.
"There are no more justices left to define mercy on your behalf, Shilo. The only thing left now is death, and yet..." Shilo paused to laugh softly and shake his head in disbelief. He half-turned, rousing the impression that he was preparing to walk away, but he had his back towards Marlowe now. Could he be showing him disrespect?
"Yet," he continued. "Death is your biggest fear."
"Be fearful of anything your mind cannot perceive of; the unknown has more forks than the devil." Marlowe whispered, turning into his room and walking towards the window through which the moon could be seen clearly, and boldly, as if it had been dragged, and then tied, by invisible ropes, to the many billowing trees in the backyard of the manor house.
"The unknown is where the imagination shouldn't wander, as a prerequisite, it is never wise to live through invented scenarios. By such thoughts, one is either a false hero, or a defeated warrior."
"You are right, Shilo." Marlowe smiled, his face moon-splashed, so that he looked as if he was standing directly below a bright UV light.
"Of course I am right, Marlowe. You think I know nothing of philosophy, and how the sorcerers converse. You think I lack fluency in the language of the secular? There's only one thing I don't understand, and that is you. Now, until you tell me what it is you and Farrow are after, I will not relent pestering you...pedantically so." He smiled slyly, his blue eyes glistening as surfaces of bold crystal would beneath banquet chandeliers. 

"Where is it?" A woman yelled. Her voice was raspy, cold, and it sent shivers through his body that had already been seemingly dipped into ice water. There was only darkness, and some indiscernible shadows began to move, eerily towards him. He couldn't make out if they were human, or beast, yet his gut told him that whichever they were, they were far more sinister than he thought. He began to press himself against the cold surface behind him; he couldn't make out the texture thereof, but it was the only comfort around him; everything else was obscured by the darkness. He could hear footsteps, specifically those of a woman's high heels, clinking against what he assumed was the similar surface to that of an ice rink. The cold pierced his skin savagely; the wind at its rise, every few minutes or so, gave him the impression that his skin was being pulled, slowly from his body. He couldn't feel his feet, though he knew, by some power vested in him, that they were submerged in murky ice water. He wriggled his body, and tried to push himself forward but he was weak. His bones had been weakened by the cold, perhaps weaker than an infants. He ceased struggling against the unknown force, which had been holding him captive, out of fear that should he move to hard, he would break.

Breath touched his left cheek; warm breath followed by the heavenly scent of soft musk. It was the woman whose high heeled footsteps he had been hearing all this time. What did she want from him?
He was afraid, he wanted to cry but he knew it would be to no avail; especially in the eyes of his captors. He heard some people laughing in the distance, and the slow murmur of a distant conversation, between more than two people, he presumed. The woman touched his face with her warm hand, and almost instantaneously, he fell to the ground, that had now turned to a mahogany wooded surface. She was tall, pallid, and had eyes like a wolf's. He recognized her immediately; she had come, he knew it all along. She towered above him, looking down at him though her constantly changing eyes. She was intimidating, breathing heavily with a satisfied look strewn across her colour-drained face. Her hair was tied into a curly bun; the curls escaping the grip of the band, falling recklessly from her head onto her heaving shoulders, that looked more like concrete slabs than shoulders.

"The truth, Marlowe." She breathed. She raised a shiny, stick-shaped, crystal object before his face, from which a great flow of purple light begaon to shoot. It was like an explosion moving magically from her hands through the air, to the unseen end of the room. "Give me the truth!" She implored of him, before grasping his shirt in her warm, and tight fist. She smelled of death, mangled with the scent of musk he had inhaled earlier, and he could see very little compassion, or sympathy emanating from her eyes, that were now a shade of grey he had never before seen, nor imagined. She loosened her grip, and let him fall like a rag doll onto the carpet below.

"If you want to play a game," she said softly, in the voice of a child, with her back towards him. "Then we will play a game!" She spun around suddenly, at which gesture, men cloaked in dark attire began to magically appear inside the room, and start walking speedily towards him. On his backside, he began to crawl backward, his face leaked of colour, with his mouth gaped like the opening of a cave. The woman scurried towards him, holding the crystal stick in her hand. He knew she was going to do it; now was the time- the only time.

"Marlowe, for goodness sake, look at you, you're sweating a pond!" It was Shilo towering above him. The bedroom light was on, partially blinding him. He was drenched in sweat, and his joints were tightened from the effects of the dream. His mouth, dry, and barely able to move, felt numb. He pushed his body forward, and took the glass of water from Shilo's hand.
"How long did it last?" He asked tiredly.
"I can't be sure." Shilo answered him. "Maybe about five minutes, but still I can't be sure."
"I'm glad it's over..." He exhaled, throwing himself back onto the bed.
"It's not over Marlowe..." Shilo declared eerily. "It's only starting."


© Raeez Jacobs. 2012. All rights reserved.

So you want to be famous, huh?

Everybody wants to be famous; even people who have no concept of the word 'talent', or what exactly it entails to be a public personality. Fame is a construct, built entirely around talented people, who serve as the building blocks of the greater structure. Being famous is about more than just showing up to glitzy events in designer apparel, and posing beautifully for the cameras. Fame is a way of life; it is life for some, especially the authentic creative geniuses who use fame, as passion metamorphosed into business.

Even though I am nowhere near the fame I so boldly speak of; growing up and always keeping my eye close to the entertainment industry, seeing the perks, as well as the pits of fame, being an ardent fame-chaser myself, grants me the audacity to type this blog, with more confidence than Madonna.

So here's an unofficial list of a few things you need to get in order, to make sure you reach fame, and ultimately renowned, and acclaim status:

- Make sure you have the right attitude, and a personality brighter than any summer's day, and also bolder than Helena Bonham Carter, could ever be.
-Ensure that you remain positive, and keep in touch with your abilities at all time.
-Try to stay focused on your goals, and work towards them, slowly, but never lag.
-Be patient.
-Accept rejection, even if it's the millionth time; rejection doesn't imply failure.
-Market, yet never exploit yourself.
-As much as you're selling yourself, never make the mistake of pushing anyone down, or neglecting to help others who want to be where you are.
-Be honest, and willing to make sacrifices.
-Reserve time to look for agents, audition notices, and castings, and never become despondent when there seems to be a lack in notices, just keep looking, and modifying your searches.
-Start a blog, website, and/ or Twitter page; use this to market and promote your talents, products, etc. Use these platforms to showcase your true, and most alluring personality traits, while also demonstrating true passion, and skill.
-Don't ever sell yourself short.
-The most important step is finding a casting agency/talent agency who may represent you, so that you are not considered an unsolicited performer; you have more credibility with a portfolio to your name, and an agency justifying your craft.
-Be aware of cheap, and fake agencies who only want your money, and are looking to exploit you.
-Starting with drama courses through well-known, and reputable drama, music, writing, and film academies, are a great way to gain skills, and experience in the field. Courses like these also help in the development of your attitude, and personality.
-Lastly, keep believing in yourself; stop dreaming, and go for the dream instead. Don't ever let your image, and appearance keep you from going for your goals, be ambitious, and make it more about what you do, and less of what you think people are going to see you as.

Hope my advice is able to help you.
If you are looking for any information regarding castings, casting agents/ agencies, and auditions, and competitions etc, please contact me, and I will, with great effort, endeavour to assist you.



Wednesday, June 13, 2012

[New Poem] Where The Winds Rape The Shell

She wakes to the sound of nothing;
yet today, the world is her only song-
to which she- lone heart as a once-boat,
must travel beyond her path.

The Gods delude her, though even
she is excited by
their seasons, and how they force the tide
to reach a high, outside the window; where the winds rape the shell.

She speaks in one voice only; the tongue of the seas-
the mermaid upon the sand, like a goddess.
It is the feel of the town, and the breath of the
city through which her eyes
kiss the dawn.

Monday, June 11, 2012

It's Ray, if you will

Here's a little blog post dedicated to me. I will mention a few things I like, and don't like, and also list some of the activities I get up to, and where I aspire to be in the next few years.

1. I am 21 years old. I was on May 3, 1991 in Johannesburg South Africa.
2. My star sign is Taurus, and man do I love riding the bull.
3. I am artistically, and creatively inclined. I am passionate about the arts as a whole.
4. I am a singer, actor, dancer, writer of poetry, short stories, novels, and scripts for television.
5. I am very extroverted, but also introverted, depending on the crowd, and situation.
6. I love fashion, and would love to start my own label someday!
7. I am set on opening my own creative company which will cover every aspect of the arts I am passionate about.
8. I love socialising, and so I've been called a social butterfly!
9. I am not religious.
10. I am not hung up on Politics.
11. I LOVE watching Discovery Investigation, and the Crime and Investigation network. People have called me sick for this, but I am obsessed with researching serial killers, and all-American trials. So far, Charles Manson takes the cake.
12. Britney Spears, has been, and will always be my favourite celebrity and pop star!
13. I love Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian. I love their reality show, and everyone else in the family. People also call me, Mr Kardash, and RayKardash, and I love that!
14. After an obsession with Lady Gaga, I got called Raga! Clever huh? Still one of my favourite nicknames.
15. I love coffee, and going out on coffee dates.
16. I used to love drinking A LOT, but not such a fan anymore.
17. I love movies, and quiet nights in, but then again, I also really love going out to great parties and venues.
18. I listen to any kind of music, as long as it makes me feel good, and leaves an impression.
19. I want my own reality show.
20. I suffer from delusions of grandeur sometimes, yeah!
21. Yo I smoke's quite the thing for me!
22. My favourite writers are: Oscar Wilde, JK Rowling, Shakespeare, Christopher Marlowe, Alice Walker, and Toni Morrison.
23. I'm a feminist, and gay rights activist in my own right!
24. I am gay, and proud.
25. I am currently single.
26. My favourite song of all time is: Always on my mind by the Pet Shop Boys
27. My favourite movie of all is: Grease staring Olivia Newton John, and John Travolta.
28. I want to be an evil, manipulative character in a future role.
29. I have written over 21 short stories, 97 poems, and in the process of editing, and completing two novels across different genres.
30. My favourite, and most loved fragrance; my signature is ANGEL by Thierry Mugler, even though it's a women's fragrance.
31. I walk on my socks!
32. I constantly oversleep!
33. I believe in ghosts!
34. I love photography, and modeling.
35. I was five when I wrote my first short story called Stupid Toy.
36. I don't really like sport, my liking is limited to watching.
37. I am fluent in English, and Afrikaans, and learning Italian.
38. I have a younger sister.
39. Some of favourite foods are: pizza, chow-mein, tramezzini sandwiches, mutton curry, and steak. I love meat!
40. I used to cry my way out of situations when I was a child.
41. I can't even really cry anymore.
42. I believe in Karma.
43. Most people simply call me Ray.
44. I want to move to the States, either to California, or New York City.
45. I'd love to travel to Italy.
46. I want to start an organization aimed at educating youth about the truths, and myths of sexuality.
47. I don't like invasion of my personal space.
48. I smoke a lot of cigarettes in one day!
49. I can read a 316 paged book in one day, sometimes in 3 hours if I am not too busy.
50. I don't like being idle.
51. I use the following expressions, and words too much: "Put it in the bible!" "Bible?!" "Oh fuck my soul" "Oh lord have mercy" "Wait...what?!" "Totes" "Fab" and "GorgeousAward."
52. I want to find a way to bring things to me, without me having to get up, and go get it.

The Only Eye

The art of a place
one destination, the intricacy of an expressive face
like the hand of the artist
or the weep of the clown
the art of a place
just like the beauty of a face
painted with the bristles of divine grace.

Poem: The Gothic Trilogy

Song of the Gothic I

Moon-faced in the silence
Of the dying town
Where the lights weaken
From kaleidoscopic
To near gothic gray

Pictures lay all
About the floor,
The debris and all
The things you dearly miss,

Strewn as litter
Across the pavements
Vacated by lone hearts
And arrows
Buckled as twigs
Are in forests
With owls laughing about

In your moon-face,
Sulky, and made of silk
Easier to break
Than mend
Like a plastic
By wind’s heavy hand

You are.

Song of the Gothic II

No one believes
My sight
When I am standing,

Feeling the intricacies
Like rubble
Inside a hole
Outside a cave
From a fallen

Above where
I breathe.

Song of the Gothic III

Pallid as powder
Drained of power
Emaciated before
And queens
And thirsty at the throne,

With the image
Of his face, and there I
Laying bare
As did Adam
With my hands
Stretched out
I am the eagle
I am feeble

Drained as a
Punished soothsayer
We have no alchemy
You love me not
This is not romance
I sing
The song of the

The lyrics to which
The devils writhe
And the angels weep
As infants do
At an untimely pinch
To the skin,

I fade into
The cloak
Worn by night,
Is the night
I sing the song of
The gothic.

 © Raeez Jacobs. 2012.

Poem: Only With You


Tears stain my creased pillow
as I curl;
ball myself
like a foetus
in the gloominess of
my room,

you are the
to my impending doom,

take my hand
for it is stretched forth
as a lonely avenue
inside a vacant town,

awaiting the first sound
or movement,

Here I am-
heart and soul
mind and body
devoted to all you embody
loving you,

through every despair
and tribulation

through the
of religion,
and institution,

I am half,
and only with you
shall I live to be whole.

Audition dear, No dear, Me too, dear

Every audition requires a specific attitude; an attitude you are supposed to present to the judges previewing whatever it is you're showcasing. The truth is; this attitude, unlike other things within the category of personality, like happiness, for example, is not universal and so, attitude may vary from one person to the other- and oftentimes, evidently so, the attitude is there; full force, but the judges are not satisfied, and so you don't end up getting the role. So then, you ask yourself, what is the right attitude, and how do I nail this?

Truth is, there is no right or wrong way to approach an audition. There have been times, and I am sure that a lot of people who have auditioned for theatre, musicals, presenters etc, can agree with me here, where the judges are really positive, and enthralled by you, yet still, you don't get that 'part.'

I have concluded, rather haphazardly, that the result of your audition, as much as your talents do count, is partially based on pure fortune, or if you're unlucky...misfortune. The judges, producers, and directors already have the person they're looking for in mind, and so when you enter, no matter how great you are, if you're not that person they have in mind, you're not going to be considered. There's a possibility however, that you may just get selected for the next round, because perhaps they feel you might just be it.

Don't be heartbroken about bad auditions, or when you're not selected. A bad audition is not a sign, or indication that you're not good- the way exams are- because unlike exams, auditions don't really test your knowledge, and so the result has nothing to do with you, or what you know. And so, I implore of you, don't ever become despondent by rejection. Rejection should make you want it more; use your frustration to channel more positive energy, and then transform that into inspiration, so that you get back up, and launch right into it again- at least that's what I believe. Remember that you own your talent; it is a part of you- for many, it was born with you, and it is everything you live for- neglecting to continue after rejection, is like disowning a part of yourself; you're denying yourself the ability to live through events, and moments that make you happy.

The other piece of advice I'd like to give is; don't ever attend an audition under the impression that you're the best, or hoping that anyone else is beneath you. Fantasizing as such, takes all your attention away from having a great audition, and so instead, all your energy is vested into this image, which only just a dream. Don't worry, your critical acclaim will come. Terms such as 'star', 'starlet', 'diva', and 'superstar' are bestowed upon you by the media, and the public based predominantly on your success...calling yourself by these terms, don't make you seem me, you only come across as: 'delusional'; at least to people who have their heads correctly attached to their bodies.

Ooze confidence in the sense that you believe in yourself, and that you don't view rejection as failure. Don't ever misconstrue the definition of confidence. Note also that pride is a dirty trait to possess when you're just starting out, because you're haughty and proud, and so you place everyone beneath you. Believe me, I am a strong believer in karma, as well as negative and positive energies travelling through space, which have an impact on what you present forth. You're not going to succeed if in your head, you're the ONLY, and the BEST actor in the world, and likewise for any other arts or professions. It's important to be humble, and honest, and respect other people. Appreciate that, together, each and every one of you are a brick in the wall being built, which when complete, will be the representation of that particular field.

I know that a lot of people are quickly made despondent by lack of audition notices; the reality here is this- there are auditions all around you, happening each and every single day, and you're not going to find out about them by merely sitting at home, dreaming, or just typing the keyword, audition, into Google. You need to put yourself out there, sign up to casting notice sites, try and find a reputable casting agency, attend theatre shows, email whoever you think could possibly help you. In other words I am saying that you need to market yourself towards where you want to be. This is life; modern day society- in which nothing is handed to anyone on a silver platter, and the philosophy; each to his own is highly habituated, while Love thy neighbour is just...uhm biblical!

Put yourself out there! You are the judge can tell you that you can't sing if you really can, because guess what, there is no universal standard of what a singer should or shouldn't sound like, provided there actually is a singer's voice in question.

Don't just dream; do!

Saturday, June 9, 2012

FASHION: What I Wore

As you all know, I auditioned for the 2012 Top Billing Presenter Search, at the Wanderers Stadium in Johannesburg. Top Billing is a show that represents La Dolce Vita and so it was obvious that you would need to dress, and act the part. Dressing for the audition was easy for me, as I am already quite a patron of the glitz lifestyle. I opted for dark colours, and shades; wearing a grey Armani blazer with a black shirt underneath. I wore a dark fur piece as a scarf around my neck, and a black bow-tie with black skinny jeans. I wore brown shoes and a brown bag to balance the colours. Fab, right? 

UPDATE: My Top Billing Dream

The air smelled fresh, faces were glistening, and so were teeth, exposed by half-moon smiles. My nerves began to settle almost immediately. Everybody was friendly, and conversations were flowing, while friendships were forming. It was difficult to associate this crowd with aspiring presenters, of one of SA's most celebrated magazine shows because the amiable ambiance removed the competitive edge, one would expect to see amid hopefuls.

At first glance, it looked like a bad turn-out, nonetheless, before I could take another photo, I realized that that were so many people, and I would still need to register. The lengthy queue to registration dwindled speedily; registration was effortless, and far less tedious than I had anticipated.

My friend, Chanelle joined me on the audition day; to offer support, keep me company, and distract me from concentrating on my anxiety. Now that I think about it, I wasn't really nervous, especially since my competitors were such open-minded, loving, and interesting individuals. I spoke to so many people, so freely, and so jubilantly that I had to ask myself again, Why are you not as shy around people as you usually are?

Chanelle decided to audition along with me, and her and I, quickly and effortlessly got her registered after we got our make-up done by a crew, seemingly provided or sponsored by Nedbank. It was a free service, and I think it partially abetted at setting me, and many others there, at quick ease. Later we rehearsed for a while, trying not to practice too much, as I maintained that too much practice, and memorization of our links would make us sound like trained robots. 

It was getting later, and the place was filling with zestful people. Chanelle and I grabbed the opportunity to meet and greet, Top Billing presenter, Ursula Stapelfeldt. She happily took a few pictures with us, told Chanelle she has beautiful eyes, and gracefully bade us good luck for our auditions. I believe meeting her also boosted my confidence. 

From left: Raeez (Me) right, Top Billing Presenter, Ursula Stapelfeldt

From left: Chanelle Jeffries, right, Top Billing Presenter, Ursula Stapelfeldt

I only auditioned a few minutes after 6pm, and it was extremely cold then. The venue didn't really allow for people to be seated inside warm venues, so everyone was forced to sit outside in the cold, after the team decided to arrange all the numbers, because people were auditioning way earlier than they were supposed to. Despite the cold weather, people were determined to audition. I told some of the people that I met, that I was no longer nervous because the cold had frozen my nerves. They all laughed. I turned around and spoke to more people behind me, looked down and spoke to more people there. It was certainly a very open and warm crowd; definitely a shield against anxiety, and the icy claws of the winter gales. 

The crowd when we arrived.

When I walked into my audition, Janez, hunky Top Billing presenter was there, smiling at me, greeting me and instructing me to present my link, after showing me my markers, on what looked like regal carpets. I couldn't believe I was inside the room I had been thinking of all day, and the week before. I started to confidently present my link, walking from my start-market to the centre to pause and continue speaking. I messed up my lines at this point, much to my own dismay. Janez, smiled and said: "You were doing good, just start over." I smiled and walked back to my first marker and then restarted. I couldn't believe that he actually told me I was doing good, and that he gave me another chance to start, because throughout the day I heard people saying that the judges weren't allowing them to start over, and simply telling them to just continue. I felt lucky. I didn't think I'd stumble over my words like that, although I attribute this mainly to the fact that, while waiting, my lines were frequently running through my head, subsequently confusing me. When I was done, I got a nod of approval from Janez; "Good," he said, "you sound kinda American when you speak." he continued, while the other judge commented that it may be caused by some influence, or just from an 'act'. I abhorred that this happened, because I didn't purposely present in an American accent. (I should abstain from speaking in an American accent for a while) 

I can't declare that I had a good audition, and neither can I say that it was bad either. I'd say it was 'fair'. I don't have any expectations either; although I would obviously like to make it through to the second phase, even if that's the phase at which my journey ends. Auditioning was a victory in itself, because I feel like all the confidence needed for it, definitely makes you a winner in your right. I am keeping my phone on; awaiting a call-back that may, or may not come. Meanwhile I have my audition number with me, and I can successfully add auditioning for Top Billing to my life events (not just on Facebook) and when I think back on it, there will be only good memories, not memories of me chewing away my nails. 

I would recommend auditioning to anyone out there, because it's such a wonderful experience. People are really nice, friendly, and willing to ease. You get to see, meet, and chat with some of the presenters. The judges don't bite, and everyone who auditioned spoke nicely of the judges, adding that they're friendly, and not intimidating in any way. I was however quite surprised to see Janez judging me, since I had been under the impression that we would be judged by members, and producers of the show. 

I am glad that I went, and that Chanelle came along with me. The fact that she auditioned also really makes me happy, as it is an event within our friendship that we can keep, and one day look back at, and smile about. It was amazing!

I definitely got A TASTE OF THE GOOD LIFE!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

With or Without

An artist cannot fail; it is a success to be one. ~Charles Horton Cooley