Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Kings and Queens

I have a personal adage that goes; it's only life, when you live it, and I s'pose that, finding myself mouth those words, comes from an experience, or a set of experiences. Human error (by which I am recognized as a mortal) has allowed me, to see myself as a living being, and nothing more or less. That in effect, does not take away my purpose; all the things I strive to do, and the dreams I pursue, as it only denotes that, my life will not slow down, to let anything else happen. Because then it's not so much my life (as I have no control of what's happening); it's me watching something else take over my life.

I've watched things happen to me, and I've watched things happen to other people. bad things. It's never easy taking control, when it feels like you're being trapped, or held underneath some great weight. We all want control, domination, and would rather know, instead of being left in the dark, with a myriad of uncertainties. Thing is, the minute we do know, and the second we assume, even just a little control, we become immersed in that power, instead of projecting it. We all want the title king and queen, but we can't be that, because our sovereignty is threatened by innate greed, and we cause others suffering, and feel as if we are entitled to everything. Things can only work out, once your ego has been ruled from the equation, and only after you've learned that, life is not about defeating the next person or coming first; why do I have to value myself and worth, against the worth and value of another person? Why can't I come to a consensus, within myself, to be the best I can be, in my own world and through my own ways?

Cultivating my own notions of hedonism, and finding my own meanings, in the things around me, would seem a more lucrative way, of dealing with every step I take henceforth. And certainly, I should find it rather easy to steer my hedonist life forward, if and only if I take into consideration the existence of those who exist with me.

So long as I think of others as competitors and conspirators, my life would remain in the reigns of selfish sovereignty, and I would always base my worth, and everything I get, on that of another mortal's. Therefore, I feel it's imperative, upon myself that, I assume control over my own life, and become concerned only with what should concern me, and work on what would make my world a success, opposed to keeping my nose, sniffing along the trails of success started by others. My success would then be a conglomerate of many others, not my own, should I subject to such behaviour. Therefore, my personal adage; it's only life, when you live it, will always come to mind, whenever I feel as if I am losing control, when I feel down, and when I am vulnerable enough to misjudge my worth and demeanor.

In the end, I want to be the protagonist in my own story, and would hate to know more, of some other being than I do of myself.

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