Thoughts, and Unorthodox Hearts I

Thoughts and Unorthodox Hearts I

You have outdone yourself again

virile, tempering with whichever organs you can

as if you've grasped my twisted veins, my anatomy

as if you think you got a hold of me

tugging at my shoulders and pulling on my hours

defending your own ego, soliciting your powers

rising out the crack i made form

subject of illusion- embedded in the deception you deem a norm

graduating from the things i taught you

proving i was right though false, and all you wanted came true

falling from your eyes into your hands  and shaking them to their virtue

some wicked benevolence that would become our point of view

there’s nothing left to figure out, no more colours left to paint you

like a beast you’re eating at the hearts

that beat in the shadow of your soul

and drinking down the souls who make pilgrimages in your name-

burns your incense and coal

the aftermath of your love bursts into hellish flames

sweet adjectives die as i try to describe you by those names

language itself has escaped from your cavity of speech

hanging from your disorder, on the periphery of repentance border, with saints outta reach

the last sermon in the word you hold dear is yours to preach

of your lacerations, guilt, and how you were defiled and misguided

growing into who you had turned out to be in the world you say they conspired

you said your ex burst like a firework the minute you walked away

some intended story of loss that would make me stay

and i sat in the fold of your shadow, head against your arm till night became day

oblivious to the curses flying like winged blood cells through your core

if only it were possible that each heart had its own door

i’d never make it known that i stood behind my own, eyes to the scarlet floor

awaiting some promise, expecting something better than i know

willing to go wherever the music and the beautiful things go

falling into your unorthodox dispositions

laying in the wait of your prolonged decisions

regretting harder than a god who created a devil about his people

chewing the ashes of, and tasting the bitterness of literal evil

i’ve misled myself by this, spreadeagled at the foot of some steep hill

with tomorrow at the top, today at the centre, and yesterday on the ground

in a cube of silence, deaf to my own words, only my breaths and heartbeats make a sound

i can hear how nervous i am, i can hear the sound of nothing

breaking against the silence like if a spectre ever had to sing

i glance toward my sides and see the world you’ve left me in

and think of the things i had dreamed of, the placed i wished i had seen

and you were my binoculous not my guide

walking within your step, not right by your side

taking in the world through your eyes

as if when we merged we metamorphosed to smaller floating skies

looking down upon all the things that mean little to what we wan’t

though as the moon emerges behind a lone cloud of grey

i feel my weight dwindle down and my wings have gone away

and i fall but you still hang in the clouds with a smirk about your facade

aghast by your unorthodox eyes and heart, hitting the ground twice as hard

with nothing left to console myself by

no answer in the book, to the question why

and some unorthodox history, by which to remember you and i

 ©Raeez Jacobs. Poetry, 2013. 

A night of poetry: book launch

Reading my poems, and others, in the 16th Edition of, Botsotso Literary Journal

Literary Journal, Botsotso, edition 16 cover

Oh so very New York, or London, of Johannesburg, to shower us with snow; coinciding with the highly anticipated launch of, prominent and striving, South African literary journal, Botsotso16. My own heart had been overcome with much delight, as the evening drew near. Melville was filled, for what was, arguably, one of the coldest nights, of the 2012 winter season. News of heavy snow storms were making headlines, across the country, and every single social feed- from Twitter to BBM- showed the reaction, from Joburgers; following the heavy snow. Yet, there I sat; a little too preoccupied, with attending the book launch, in which two of my poems, would be included, than to be fussed over the snowfall. Elation is not a strong enough adjective, to describe exactly, what I felt; no other synonym thereof, would suffice either.

So much to smile about

One of the poems, on Page 66

Nadia and I, looking rather panache, before launch.

The inside of the quaint, Cafe De La Creme, right next door to, Book Lovers, on the iconic; 7th Ave (or 7de Laan, rather) began to quickly fill, with poets, poet enthusiasts, and photographers, as my friend's and I walked in; a little later than the expected time of commencement. The man, I presumed, was the MC, had already made several announcements, and later, summoned us, to front row seats. Though I was unable to spend the entire evening at the launch, while there, I did get to listen, to some of the most beautiful pieces of prose, and poetry alike. Everything was genuine, yet still surreal, and for a while, I became rather overwhelmed, and walked out, for some fresh air.

With my doll and everything more, Chanelle, at the launch

INSIDE: Sophiatown Cafe. Pre-launch coffee.

It was exactly as I had always imagined it; the people, their expressions, clothes, and even the ambiance, were in line, with what I had long associated, book launch's with. Mostly, I was thrilled to have two of my closest friends, Nadia and Chanelle, right there with me. Their support will always mean the world to me. Later, I chatted with the editor, Allan, who also handed me a complimentary copy, of his very own anthology; There are two birds at my Window, before encouraging me to continue, submitting work to Botsotso.

REMINDER: Botsotso16 Book Launch

Just a reminder, for anyone who might have already forgotten- the Botsotso16 Journal launch will take place on the 7 August 2012 at 17:30 for 18:00, in the enchanting Melville; 7 Ave (Cafe De La Creme) 

The night will feature recitals by other poets, and room for socializing, and meeting new, like-minded people. Two of my poems are being printed in the published journal, and I've been invited, as a contributing poet, to come, and receive my two complimentary issues, and recite one of the poems published. 

For more information, please click here