Repeat Offender

I cannot look
at your name in the face
and pretend there's no god
in the noun
or some divinity in the vowel
sounds as they escape from
between my quivering lips

I cannot wish it that
these waves or ripples
swathed across my heart
just be ironed out by the
steams of paradise
i need to look you in the eyes
but

i am so

restless as a prolonged winter
and prolonged as a never ending summer

I cannot look you in the eyes
and pretend not to feel your
name rising up through my larynx
otherwise i am abused by my own
inner hands

compelling myself to surrender
and the very last noun by which
i need be known

as my gaze
melts in your stride

is

repeat offender

© Raeez Jacobs. Poetry. 2013
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